why should I face all this ?

My patience is no limit . I had too much of misery in my life that nobody knows , even me , myself cant figure out how can I be that patient . But now , I cant stand anything anymore , I want a real freedom for myself , with trust from my parents , and bless too . Life could be very meaningless if our own parents dont trust us whole-hearted . You cant even smell the happiness if your parents dont bless you in what you're doing . Ive tried the best of myself to accept her even my own brother treated me like I was a stranger when I was small , but did you ever scold him for treating me like that ? or I bet you dont even know what Im going thru because you're too busy with your work , now , when Im doing it to her , you saw everything , yeaa I know I was a very bad girl , I embarrass you both with all that Ive done . but why cant you guys give me a chance for me to prove that Ive changed ? I changed because I have all my friends that support me in every way , but you still blame them for that . I know , friends will not be with me forever like siblings do but when they are around , they support me , they help me . While you and them ? blaming me in everything I do . how can I ever have the spirit to stand up and be a big girl ?! at this age , fifteen , I still have to share my bedroom with her , while she has her own bedroom . what you really want me to do with that ? I cant even do anything in my room . IT IS MY ROOM ! it's my responsible to take care of her , but do you think that Adam do really took care of me when I was at her age ? when Adam was at my age ? NO! he hated me so much , and you know what ? they used to be together bringing me down . my childhood time is not like everyone else , not even like them . it's not easy . everybody love them , at 5 years old age I have to face it all while everyone else enjoying their kid's life , how could you ever hope that I can be like others if I dont get like what they got ? I just feel honored when I get something that can make you proud , when I got 5As , that's the only time other people noticed my presence , my existence . when I was accepted to be MRSM student , that's the only time everyone else talk about me . the rest of the time ? Im just nobody who live in her own world . and that's the reason why I only think about myself because no one else ever think about me . You gave me everything that I want , but why ? just to prove me that you love me ? and what makes you think it's enough ? I have to budge in everything I get , I have to share everything , but do they really share with me what they have ? NO ! Im like a beggar , have to beg everything that I want to borrow , why cant her beg if she wants to follow me in everything I do ? why cant her ?! ohh because she is still a small girl and should get everything that she wants . okay now on , just act like Im not exist , so I dont have to share anything with anybody , and I wont ask them to share their stuff with me . as long as I can stand with this way of life , I'll stay . when the time has come and I cant stand anymore , I'll go .